Not sure what your boss meant on your last performance
evaluation?
| What He Says | Translation |
| "average" | Not too bright. |
| "exceptionally well qualified" | Has committed no major blunders to date. |
| "active socially" | Drinks heavily. |
| "zealous attitude" | Opinionated. |
| "character above reproach" | Still one step ahead of the law. |
| "unlimited potential" | Will stick with us until retirement. |
| "quick thinking" | Offers plausible excuses for errors |
| "takes pride in work" | Arrogant |
| "takes advantage of every opportunity to progress" | Buys drinks for superiors. |
| "indifferent to instruction" | Knows more than superiors. |
| "stern disciplinarian" | A real jerk. |
| " tactful in dealing with superiors" | Knows when to keep mouth shut. |
| "approaches difficult problems with logic" | Finds someone else to do the job. |
| "a keen analyst" | Thoroughly confused. |
| ""not a desk person" | Did not go to college. |
| "expresses self well" |
Can string two sentences together. |
| "spends extra hours on the job" |
Miserable home life |
| "conscientious and careful" | Scared |
| "meticulous in attention to detail" | A nitpicker |
| "demonstrates qualities of leadership" |
Has a loud voice. |
| "judgement is usually sound" |
Lucky |
| "maintains professional attitude" | A snob |
| "keen sense of humor" | Knows lots of dirty jokes |
| "strong adherence to principles" | Stubborn |
| "gets along extremely well with superiors and subordinates alike" | A coward. |
| "slightly below average" |
Stupid |
| "of great value to the organization" | Turns in work on time. |
| " is unusually loyal" | Wanted by no-one else |
| "alert to company developments" | An office gossip |
| "requires work-value attitudinal readjustment" | Lazy and hard-headed |
| "hard worker" | Usually does it the hard way. |
| "enjoys job" | Needs more to do |
| "happy" | Paid too much |
| "well organized" | Does too much busywork |
| "competent" | Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps |
| "consults with supervisor often" | Pain in the ass. |
| "will go far" |
Relative of management. |
| "should go far" | Kisses up |
| "uses time effectively" |
Clock watcher. |
| "very creative" | Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work. |
| "uses resources well" | Delegates everything |
| "deserves promotion" | Create new title to feel appreciated. |
